


Some Are Wise And Some Otherwise

by MrsMess



Series: Bluegirls Come In Every Size [2]
Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: Choices, Conversations, Dialogue, F/M, Family, Kissing, Literati (Gilmore Girls), Love, POV Alternating, POV Female Character, Post-Canon, Post-Series, Pregnancy, Present Tense, Second Chances, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-13
Updated: 2016-12-13
Packaged: 2018-09-08 09:10:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8838766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsMess/pseuds/MrsMess
Summary: [She] realizes that if she hadn't been pregnant they might very well have ended up having sex in the hallway of her mother's house. And then it hits her. Where she is, when she is, how she is. [...]He stares at his own solemn face in the mirror, fixing himself in the spot.”This is where I end up,” he mumbles. ”Stars Hollow.” He closes his eyes, shakes his head.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [madridista89](https://archiveofourown.org/users/madridista89/gifts), [reginahalliwell](https://archiveofourown.org/users/reginahalliwell/gifts).



> This is the mature continuation to Bluegirls Come In Every Size, so it's better, however not necessary, to have read that first.  
> It is also possible to skip this part and go straight to the epilogue.  
> Post-revival.  
> Musical inspiration for this series is A Trick of the Tail by Genesis. All the titles are from Ripples.  
> It's un-beta:d, I own all mistakes.  
> This part is gifted to madridista89 and reginahalliwell since they asked for it ;)

[RORY]

As soon they enter the hallway they're all over each other. She turns and pulls him into a kiss escalated to plural instantly. He drops his bag with a satisfying thud and puts his hands on her. He pushes her mouth open with his and invades her mouth with his tongue and words.

”What do you want?" He breathes. "Whatever you want.”

"What do you think?” She asks.

"Just making sure."

"Sex. With you. Would be preferable." She mumbles between kisses.

"Okay." He says, and lips his way from her jaw to her collar bone, while slipping his hands under her shirt, over her bra.

She's tempted to climb him, and realizes that if she hadn't been pregnant they might very well have ended up having sex in the hallway of her mother's house. And then it hits her. Where she is, when she is, how she is. They're not eighteen anymore. Memories of what she thought their first time might be like floods her head. It’s nothing like this. The haste, the blatancy. She wonders what he fantasized about back then. She’s so entangled in her thoughts she doesn’t notice her motor activity faltering until he pulls away, eyes dark and a bit concerned.

"We should wait. Right?"

"No! Wait? Why? Is that what you want?"

"No. But what I want to do and what I should do aren't always the same."

"Well, why shouldn't we?"

"Because you're hesitating." He replies with a crooked smile.

"No. I mean yes. I'm just having a little trouble turning my head off."

He looks at her, frowning. "Maybe you shouldn't. It's sort of a big deal, right? It should feel like it. Even if it's awkward."

"Since when are you the emotionally mature one?" She huffs in a little hopeless laugh, expecting a cocky response implying always. He doesn't respond that way however. Instead he looks at her, abashed.

"Since therapy..." He answers lingering.

She blinks, startled. "What...? When?"

"Doesn't matter. It's not even a big deal. I-" He interrupts himself and makes his way to the kitchen. ”Have you had coffee today? Do you want some?”

She follows him, determined. ”Hey! We were talking, mister Evasive! You were saying something about therapy?”

He stops by the coffee maker and turns, eyes darting over the room as he tries to articulate words. He drags a hand across his face. "I was twenty something, leveling out at Truncheon. I was just starting-" he takes a short breath "to make stupid decisions on purpose. The guys had a talk with me, recommended someone. I couldn't afford many sessions, and walked in with a pretty big attitude about not being able to or wanting to come back if they couldn't 'fix me'."

"And?"

He shrugs. "And she told me she couldn't fix me. But that if I gave her a few times she could give me a 'basic repair kit' I could use on my own. And she did. It's not perfect, but it's kept me sort of tempered since."

His face at twenty one appears before her, and something bites inside her chest. At the thought of him in therapy, that maybe he's here with her like this now because of it, tenderness overwhelms her. It takes her a few seconds before she remembers she’s allowed to express the feeling without using words now. She steps up to him and touches his face. He closes his eyes. It's been a long time since she felt like she was in a position to offer... anything to anyone really, but not now. She feels strong, comforting, all of a sudden. She knows it's unfounded, but she embraces it all the same. She presses kisses to his forehead, cheek and finally mouth. It’s slow and soft and she feels way too affected. His frame swallows her as she sinks into his arms. He gets hard after a little while and the sensation of it makes her wish she was already naked and on top of him, or in whichever position he might survive. Despite his obvious arousal he doesn’t accelerate their interaction, but continues kissing her while breathing heavier. If only she was in a condition allowing a few drinks. Because this isn’t just any hook up. She knows it. It’s their friendship reaching its tipping point. It’s her teenage self in a prophecy playing itself out a lot later than what she’s expected. It’s making a decision. Her lust turns to nervousness. She pulls back.

”How did you want our first time to be when we were dating?”

He looks confused. ”What? Why d’you ask?”

She tries to keep it light, but can’t look him in the eye. ”Can’t imagine it was anything like this s’all.”

”Nope.” He smiles. ”For one thing I think we should have done this sooner. But I'll take what I can get."

She grins sharply. ”Must be quite a disappointment.”

He's instantly serious. ”Rory, stop!” He counters, tilting his head closer to hers seeking eye contact. ”Is this how I pictured our first time? No. But it makes absolutely no difference to me now. We’re not kids anymore. I wanted you then and I want you now, but back then I couldn't handle that you came with a package-deal. I can now. I do now.”

She stares at the floor. He grabs her chin turning her face to his. ”If you wanna wait, or if you’ve changed your mind, just tell me. But please don’t try to put this on me, like I’m the one freaking out, ’cause I’m not.”

She draws an shaky breath. "I know! I'm sorry. Jess. You can't think I don't want this."

"I can wait." He continues. "I haven't kissed you in ten years. I could do that for a while."

She looks at him, almost insulted. "We don't have time for kissing!" She blurts out, and hears how ridiculous it sounds, but can't stop herself. "We're behind schedule. You were right. We were supposed to have done this before and now we're here and there's so much history and... I really want this and it's daunting and I just can't turn it down, inside my head. I need your help. Please. I need you to help me." She seals her eyes shut and shakes her head. His hands takes hold of the sides of it and forces it still. When she opens her eyes he's looking intently at her.

"Okay." He says softly. He bites his lower lip, eyes trailing the ceiling. A few seconds pass, then he turns his gaze back on her, with new determination. ”Come on.”

He leads her into her bedroom by the hand. It’s dark except for a small night light in the corner. He lets go of her and walks over to the window, closing the blinds. He repeats this on the others while she watches, weak at the knees. He turns to her, the first time since they’ve entered the room. They look at one another for a moment before he strides to her and grasps her waist, turning her to face the mirror. He presses her back to the front of his body, meeting her eyes in the glass. The light from the other room streams in, illuminating them. His hands travel her arms caressing them, then moves to her hips and from there up the side of her body to her breasts. Her mouth falls slightly open to facilitate deeper breaths. He smiles and pulls her shirt over her head. She lifts her arms and fights off the urge to cover herself when lowering them. He snaps open her bra, pushes it off her shoulders and removes his own shirt. She leans back into him, and he drags his chin over her neck and shoulder making her shiver. He gently shifts her forward back to her own center of gravity, looks her in the eyes, tucks his fingers inside the rim of her pants and pulls them down. He squats to lift her feet one at the time to remove them completely. She covers her face in her hands. She feels him moving while unbuttoning his own pants and climbing out of them. He steps behind her again and wraps himself to her back. He puts his mouth to her ear.

"Open your eyes. Please."

She does and goosebumps spread across her skin as she sees herself, naked, pregnant, and with him behind her, mainly blocked by her body, but also clearly bare. Their eyes lock in the mirror and her breathing gets more strained. She's never been more vulnerable, and the intimacy of it all makes her head spin with excitement.

”Say something.” He whispers.

”I’m scared.” She manages.

”You don’t have to be,” he starts ”but I know it probably doesn’t help, so I’ll just let you know, that I’m scared too. This is possibly the biggest thing I’ve ever done...” His lips graze her as he finishes: ”No pun intended.”

Her mouth drops open in chock and she turns her head to face him.

”Oh! My! God!” She hoots as the corners of her mouth turn inadvertently up. ”I can’t believe you just said that!”

She recognises his expression from their youth, a mixture of exhilaration and boldness.

”But you thought it was funny. And you’re not scared now, are you?”

”No. More like homicidal.”

He smirks. ”Please hold on to that feeling, but be gentle.”

”The insolence!” She exclaims, picking a very strange time to channel her grandmother.

”I love how you say ’insolence’. So hot.” He laughs while trying to block a number of slaps from her. He's right though, annoyingly so, she's not scared anymore. Just a little bit angry and a lot turned on. Without clothes, it's hard to hide, so she makes no attempt to. And neither does he. She understands he’s been holding back, offering her space to make conscious decisions, but once he stops, his presence becomes hungry, urgent, and it’s contagious. They wind up on her bed, she slightly on her left side but twisted to keep on kissing him. He makes a move as if to get up and she grabs his neck.

”Where do you think you’re going?”

”Bag in hallway, condoms.”

She sighs impatiently. ”Are you clean?”

”Always. For some reason I’m a big stickler for birth control.”

”Then you won’t need it now, mothers-to-be are given the full scan. But at some point we're gonna have a conversation about your priorities.”

He almost looks embarrassed, but smiles. ”And it’s too late to get you pregnant, right?”

”Huh, an unexpected perk of pregnancy.”

”Okay” he mumbles, suddenly earnest. He steers her hips into the right position and pushes inside her. She gasps at the sensation. It’s been eight months since last, a lot by her standards. She’s quickly caught up in the ecstasy of it but there’s something so different about this. It’s her first time with this transient body of hers, and it makes her feel both awkward and reverent when she thinks of the act as some sort of circular scenario. Other lovers have been significantly more easy going, casual about the whole thing, which has helped her relax, and not think too hard about it. He touches her firmly, consciously, face serious. Looking straight at him almost makes her cry, and the impulse sneaks into her moans, making them sound like sobs. She turns away to gain some composure. She slips into the dark, warm storm of her body and loses herself there for a few unmeasurable moments, but in the end she can’t shut out the distinct feeling of him, her friend, of old and new love. And it’s that knowledge, of his hands on her hips, his eyes on her, him inside her, him, that pushes her over the edge. He follows moments later, matching her whimpers with ragged breaths as he collapses against her. He seizes her almost immediately after, stroking her body, turning her to face him, and kisses her until their breaths are even again. She smiles, and can’t seem to stop looking at him, as if the image of him like this, along with their new actuality will imprint on her.

”That was...” she starts.

”Nice.” He finishes.

"Just nice?"

"Good." He responds warmly. "Awesome even, and I never use that word."

"Not strange?"

”Why, because of this?” He pets her tummy. "Please! Like this is the weirdest sex I've ever had. Ouch!" She pinches him.

”Okay, maybe it makes the top five. Ow!" Another pinch.

"But since it’s also what I've wanted for a really long time it sort of cancels out any residual weird.” He closes. She kisses him.

 

[JESS]

He opens his eyes. He’s spooning her partly to fit on her tiny bed, but mostly because it feels like a physical impossibility to pry himself away from her. She’s naked and warm in his arms and he runs his face over her neck. He feels a vibration against his right hand, which is resting against her belly, and realizes it’s what woke him up. She may be asleep but the baby is very much awake and jabs at his hand several times. He smiles, and his heartbeat accelerates when the verity of his situation trickles into his head. Pretty soon he’s unable to keep still due to his racing thoughts. He manoeuvers out of bed, pulls on his pants and shirt, and tucks Rory in before he leaves the room.

He enters the kitchen, keeping ears and eyes peeled for signs of Luke or Lorelai. But nothing. And everything is unchanged from last night. They didn’t come home and he wonders where they are and what they know. He puts on coffee, then goes to use the bathroom. He stands in front of the mirror for a while, trying to grasp this reality. He’s been so focused on working up the courage to tell her how he feels, he never really dared to imagine what an existence following reciprocation might be like, but now it’s crashing in on him. He’ll have to stay. He can’t uproot her, at least not now. He stares at his own solemn face in the mirror, fixing himself in the spot.

”This is where I end up,” he mumbles. ”Stars Hollow.” He closes his eyes, shakes his head. He stops. Looks back at his image. ”With Rory.” He corrects himself, and doesn’t look away. He grabs his bag from the hallway and walks back into her room, putting it down on her floor. She’s still asleep. Beautiful. Very pregnant. ”She’s having a baby.” The thought is crystal clear and cuts through all else inside him. He considers getting back to bed, wants to, but can’t stop his head from spinning. He walks back into the kitchen and looks for something edible with no luck.

He grabs a cup of coffee instead and walks out on the porch, seating himself on the steps. Luke’s question from yesterday echoes in his head; ”raise another man’s child, could you do that?” Not just any man’s. Logan’s. He’s hated Logan. Regretted not punching him that time in New Haven. Wished him unwell after Philadelphia, when she left because of him. The fathering of someone else’s child doesn’t feel far fetched to him, every man in his life has in a sense been trying, with a varying degree of success, to raise another’s offspring, Luke took him in, even his deadbeat dad seems to have done an okay job in caring for the stepdaughter. Blood relation isn’t a guarantee for care, he knows that from experience too. Of course he can do this. But can he compete with Logan? The baby puts the guy in Rory’s life forever, a constant. He was so sure they were meant for each other, and isn’t he still, to be honest? It puts him in a dangerous position, to lose her again... He shivers despite the May morning warmth. What if she’s not as invested in this as he is? It feels right, but that’s the way it always felt like with her. He can’t know. He’s afraid, and he’s aware he can’t reason it away, the only thing that works is to act. He gets up.

He walks back into the kitchen as she emerges from the bedroom in robe, hair on end, sleep still in her eyes. They both halt in their tracks as they notice each other. His heartbeat pounds the inside of his chest and he struggles to control his expression, which he’s sure is too candid. She regards him openly, with those blue eyes, and a smile spreads across her face.

”Hi.” She says.

”Hi.” The word cracks his facade open at the mouth and he returns the smile.

She walks up to him hastily and puts her arms around his waist while leaning her forehead to his. The risks are irrelevant. He’s all in, it's done. He laughs with relief and kisses her. She lets out a satisfied purr. He withdraws reluctantly after a few moments and gestures to the coffee pot.

”There’s coffee for you. I tried to make breakfast, but there’s nothing but stale pop-tarts here. How can you be pregnant and not have any food in your house?”

”I ate it all.” She retorts deadpan. ”The pop-tarts will do.”

”Oh no. Please don’t eat that!”

”Okay, Luke.” She says. ”Guess we’ll go to the Inn. My mom texted me. They’re there.”

”Well, that means Ceasar’s opening Luke’s, we could go there if you-”

”I figured we might get the whole... Flaunting out of the way.” She says pointedly.

He looks at her, surprised. ”Okay.”

She gets dressed and they head out. She takes his hand. The morning’s still early. As they walk into the Dragonfly, Lorelai freezes.

”Hi!” Her eyes dart to their interlaced hands and back to their faces. ”So this is what you meant by ’we’ in your text?”

Rory nods. ”Yup. This is we.”

Lorelai stays cool, and smiles amused. ”So I’m guessing you need lots and lots if sustenance?”

”Please!” Rory says dramatically. ”I’m feeling a little fainty.”

Lorelai's smile broadens, while she obviously stifles an ambiguous comment, then she promptly turns and walks off.

Rory raises her brows. "That was moderate of her."

Not a minute passes before Luke’s voice comes thundering from the kitchen. ”Rory! Jess! Fancy seeing you here!”

Jess winces and looks at Rory who shrugs. ”Sorry.”

”Am I blushing? ’Cause it would my first time.”

She laughs. ”Sorry.”

”How are you so cool about this?”

"I'm used to it?"

A few awkward hugs and huge breakfast later, they exit the Inn and start walking back to the house.

”We should walk by the book store”, Rory says breezily "Do the full tour". As they walk through the center of the town she takes his hand again. He sneaks glances at her in quiet admiration, has to contend his urge to stare at her. This is a long way gone from the girl who wanted to hide in corners. Her self-evident hand in his. He’s someone she shows off. The awkwardness aside, this is what he wants. His chest aches and he takes a few deep breaths trying to relieve the tightness.

”What is it?”

”It’s stupid.”

”Oh come on!”

”I'm happy, okay?”

”Poor baby!”

”It’s sort of rare.”

”Poor baby.”

”Forget it.”

”No, it’s just that, ’round here I think happiness might be in the town byelaws. So if you’re gonna stick around you’ll have to get with the program.” She puts her arm around him and sticks her head in the crook of his neck. A few seconds pass.

”You are sticking around, right?”

”Yes.” He says.


End file.
